When Motherhood Hurts: Infertility, Faith, Adoption, & What Not to Say.

Bens Birthday, 9 Years Ago This Week.

Most people don’t talk about the kind of grief that doesn’t have a funeral. The kind that comes quietly in waiting rooms and negative test results. The kind that settles into your chest when you realize the dream of becoming a mother might never look the way you imagined.

In two of the most personal episodes I’ve ever recorded for StRest, I opened up about my journey through infertility, miscarriage, IVF, and the rollercoaster of adoption. I didn’t set out to make these conversations so raw. I just wanted to tell the truth. But once I started, I couldn’t stop. Because someone out there needs to know they’re not alone.

I’ve walked the hallways of failed fertility clinics and held the phone after that one o’clock call that changed everything. I’ve said “thank you” through tears to nurses who delivered bad news with kindness. I’ve sat in hospital rooms praying a birth mother would choose us, and then cried in courtrooms when the “yes” finally came.

Infertility is a grief that hides. Miscarriage is a trauma that too many of us are told to quietly move past. And adoption? It’s beautiful. But it’s also messy and hard and full of uncertainty. We don’t talk enough about how brave it is to get attached, knowing it might not last. Or how hard it is to answer the question, “Are you her real mom?”

These episodes aren’t just for the women still waiting. They’re also for the people who love them. I talk about what not to say, how to sit with someone in their sadness, and why phrases like “just relax and it’ll happen” or “everything happens for a reason” can hurt more than help. There’s no spiritual shortcut through this kind of pain.

If you’re in the middle of your own fight to become a mother, or if you’re loving someone who is, I hope you’ll listen. I hope you’ll feel seen. And I hope you’ll hear this loud and clear: your story matters. Your loss matters. And God is still present—even in the silence, even in the sorrow.

This is a love letter to the families we choose, the babies we dream about, and the faith that carries us when the answers don’t come.

Listen to both parts of this series on StRest—where we hold space for heartbreak and healing, together.

And happy birthday to my book end babies—Grace and Ben.

xoxo Kerstin

xoxo Kerstin

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 Tickets going fast for Summer & Fall events.

👉🏽 July 1st – Open Prayer Group 9am PST/12pm EST. Virtual via Zoom. Tickets are Free, you just need to register here 👉🏽 https://www.kerstin-lindquist.com/event-list

👉🏽 October 4-5th – National Menopause Show, Anaheim, Ca. Early bird tickets start at just $25 PRICE GOES UP JULY 1st!

Get tickets here 👉🏽 https://nationalmenopauseshow.com/anaheim/

October 9-12th –Women’s Faith & Wellness Retreat in Montana. Spend an intimate time at a luxury resort with me, Dr Tabatha Barber and Deborah Enos. Limited to 32. Get your tickets here 👉🏽 https://themeadowsonrockcreek.com/special-events/womens-wellness-retreat/

Great Deal! Missed the Winter/Spring workshops? You can get the recordings, 3+ hours of learning plus worksheets and coupon codes to watch & learn on your own time. Over $150 value for $40

Grab the package here 👉🏽 https://www.kerstin-lindquist.com/event-list

🎙 Coming Up This Week on StRest – Mally Roncal, Tuesday July 1st.

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Need anything? Email me. I’m here to help. kerstin@kerstin-lindquist