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  • Kerstin Lindquist

Blurred Vision




So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you; he’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.”

1 Peter 5:6-7 MSG


When we were planning this mission trip to Mexico, I was tied up in knots for months waiting for the right time to present my plans to my boss. I worked it over and over in my head, mapping all the possible outcomes. Preparing myself for the possibility of a “no,” or the loss of my job. Insisting I could manifest my way to a “yes,” and my happy ending.

Go back and circle all the times I wrote me, I and my.

Ooof.

Humility was far from my mind during that time.

How my boss responded wasn’t about me, it was about their interaction with the holy spirit. This was all part of the Lord using my flawed human form to show His might.

In the years we planned this trip and even more so the weeks leading up to that pivotal discussion, I often got carried away in what I wanted. I’d planned in my head, stressed and over physical details of what our mission trip would look like. Fantasizing about the people we would help, their reaction, the life changing moments, the starving child I would hold in my arms and somehow save. Oh the ego! None of that is about God its all about me. While good intentioned, I was getting in the way of what my Jesus needed to do through me.

Less of us and more of Him.

The key to humbling yourself in any situation is recognizing that you are not God, and you can’t even stand in for Him because you will end up doing a terrible job. Our vision needs to blur so that His can come into focus. That’s a truth for your life no matter the situation. We spend so much time strategizing, imagining, plotting out every step. We feel comfort when we can see the port through the storm. We want to know the schedule, the forecast, our calendars are planned at least twelve months in advance and our mortgages thirty years. It’s not wrong to set goals. As a mom of three my planner is perhaps the first thing I’d grab in a fire. But in situations where you are called to step out in faith that fog in front of you is a blessing. That’s the Lord allowing you to be blind to the world, so you depend fully on His power to lead the way.

It’s never about you.

It would have been easy to brag about my huge faith, my growth as a Christian to take the leap as a missionary. (The Instagram posts wrote themselves. #faithoverfear #Jesustakethewheel…)

But that’s all-peripheral road trash.

Gods not using our egos to further His kingdom. He’s using us.

Humble, scared, us.

Humility.

No agenda.

Just vulnerability.


“I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him. Romans 12:3 MSG


Journal Prompt: How do I need to humble myself? How am I thinking of myself as God and trying to control what’s His?


 






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