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A Letter About My Marriage After 23 Years.

  • 3 days ago
  • 4 min read



I tend to look at other families and couples on social and wonder how they always seem so perfect, happy, and without struggles.


I’m not one to believe the highlight reels, but in this one area, I am weak. My tender heart only hears the love-soaked stories of my friends and acquaintances. I measure my own painful moments in marriage and family life against what looks like everyone else’s constant domestic success.


It’s a weakness in me. A symptom of low self-esteem at times, or maybe the judgment I turn on myself for the mistakes I’ve made.


My husband and I have lived a real life. We fell in love quickly and easily, then swam in youthful bliss until we started trying to have kids.


Since then, God has walked us through what feels like unlimited heartache—miscarriage, lost adoption, death, addiction—but also overwhelming joy: the arrival of our three children, travel, dreams coming true.


I can look at our life and see how every hurt tried to break us, but instead, we chose to move closer to God—and in turn, back to each other.


Here’s the truth we don’t see on social media, and honestly, what even my friends don’t always talk about: what we have been through isn’t uncommon, but most don’t survive.

I don’t see many couples like us out there because many just quit. They give up and split apart.


At 23 years, we’re still together—and working harder than ever—because of our love and our Lord. And because we will forever choose each other over anything else.


I don’t know how people do marriage without Christ at the center. And honestly, many don’t. But those of us who build our relationship on the one true love will endure whatever life brings.


I am so grateful to the love of my life for choosing me through all the hard. For never giving up. For working to grow closer to the Lord, and in turn, closer to me. For being the father I wish every child could have. For making me laugh until I cry (and now, after multiple pregnancies… until I pee). For continuing to become the best version of himself—even though I loved (well, most of 😉) the versions of him before.


We are not the Instagram-perfect family, but we are God’s family. A real, imperfect couple—made whole through Him.


And this Palm Sunday, I am so deeply grateful for our Lords sacrifice… and for this beautiful life He has given me.


…And grateful for the love of my life, my partner, my absolute best friend no matter what, my husband of 23 years.


Happy anniversary babe.

This version of us is the one I love the most.


Let’s all pray for marriage this week.

Xox

Kerstin



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